Keeping up Appearances

My Dad took his own life just over 6 years ago.

There is not a day that goes by where I don’t think of him.

It saddens me to constantly read or hear about stories of suicide whether it be in the mainstream news, or in my work as a Counsellor.

My Dad came from a wealthy family. His grandfather established most of what makes up Essendon as it stands today. They had live-in staff in their family home. They travelled overseas and visited places most people only dreamed of. This upbringing was something Dad always wanted for his own family and he did a pretty good job of doing so.

Dad was an entrepreneur. Being the youngest of 3 children, he was always the underdog and felt he had to prove himself to his father. I believe Pop would have been proud of what Dad achieved, sadly I don’t think Dad ever thought so.

Dad provided my sisters and I with a private school education, amazing holidays, our own horses just to name a few.

I am forever grateful for my childhood, however there is a flip side to this.

This success cost Dad his life, and my sisters and I lost our father.

When you live in the leafy South Eastern Suburbs of Melbourne surrounded by wealth and expectation, life can go terribly wrong if things don’t go according to plan.

After selling his successful international playground business, which he founded to Rubbermaid, it quickly became apparent his skills were no longer needed in the company he lived and breathed. It was time to move on and try his hand at developing LED lighting which was virtually unknown to the market. A risky decision to invest heavily in the technology, and a broken promise from the world’s top gaming machine manufacturer saw things take a turn for the worst.

Within weeks, the bank was on our doorstep to collect the luxury cars and take possession of our family home.

This is the moment I believe we lost Dad. As a father and provider, he believed if he was unable to continue providing this lifestyle then he was not doing his job.

After all, men generally do feel the responsibility to provide and protect. And this is where society has it all wrong.

It is our job as women, or equal partners, to ensure the burden and pressure of life is shared. It is an all too common occurrence for one partner to constantly put the pressure on the provider to ensure a certain lifestyle, but at what cost?

Is ‘Keeping up Appearances’’ worth someone’s life?

I am not bitter, I am grateful.

I am grateful I have had the opportunity to see life from both sides. It makes me sad seeing people trying so desperately to fulfil a certain lifestyle, but at what cost?

If we are to make a difference and create a happier society where we don’t judge or criticise people, we may just see suicide rates drop.